Cain's Collapse Is Obama's Fault

It's fitting that today is the third anniversary of when our country started going down the drain faster than Kim Kardashian could send out wedding thank-you cards. Yes, President Obama was elected thanks to a bunch of upstart internet tweeters and Facebookers driving youth to the polls. Don't you know that kids don't listen to their parents these days? They are too busy dating online and at protests.
And since kids these days want to blame everyone for their demise I decided to set up this blog. I'm sure they Google the word "Blame" in their sleep when they think about why our country sucks now. Well, blame Obama! And every week I'm going to show you why something that happened is his fault.

Like the demise of this Herman Cain fellow. He had a perfectly good plan: sell enough pizza to lower everyone's tax burden. 9 pies, 9 toppings, 9 bucks each. No matter how much money you had, that's what you were going to pay.  That's a fair deal, right?
Until someone let out a little secret: Herman Cain is much like other politicians, despite his claim to be an outsider. You see, apparently Herman Cain like to put his eye on other pies. Young, fresh pies. His organization paid a lot of dough to make those pies go away and they did.
But what's wrong with that? Who cares if Cain supposedly wanted to date young women from the National Restaurant Association? What's wrong with a date or two...or three... Hell, Slick Willy did much worse, and he was in office!

To me that says Cain is perfect for the job. Someone was up to no good here.
First, Cain thought that "someone" was from Rick Perry's camp. But he had no smoking gun...only a smoking campaign manager. Then he thought maybe it was the liberal media, which we know is too stupid to break a story like that. Then he blamed racism, which is a crock because Cain is the best Negro African American we have out there. Just ask that hottie Ann Coulter!
And how could it be racism if Obama did it? Yeah, I said it. Obama spilled the beans.  It's really about legacy, people. We know Obama is a 1-termer. Apparently there can only be one person of...of Obama's stature in the oval office. If by chance he were to be defeated by someone with the likes of Cain, that would ruin his legacy as the only black president (besides slick Willy).
So if you were planning to vote for Cain in 2012, you may not get the chance. Thanks to Obama. Alan Keyes or Colin Powell better not have any ideas.