Obama's Foreign Policy Causes Unemployment

 

I'm reflecting on the wars we used to fight and I see how Obama handles them is going to make unemployment numbers go up. Commando In Chief Barack is also reducing our foreign influence and that's going to make us weak. We saw last month that he is sending all of our troops home from Iraq, thanks to a deal that was made in 2008 by our original savior Bush 43.  Afghanistan is just about done, too, now that Bin Laden was taken out by the SEALS. And Libya? Nothing left for our planes to refuel with Gadaffi gone.  What are we going to do now for foreign influence? Zilch. Thanks, Obama.

 

Doesn’t he know that our military might is the only reason people like or respect or are afraid of America? Our soldiers- God bless ‘em- represent everything right in America. With enough capitalism-driven government contracts, we can employ thousands in each congressional district to outfit our troops with the biggest and baddest weapons. When countries see what we have, they think “ooh! I want that!” Or they are scared poopless and start actin’ right by not sending brown bombers to hide out in our communities until it’s too late. Well, we’ve squelched most of that now. But that doesn’t mean we should leave. The bad guys need constant reminders that we have the biggest and best guns in the world! Bringing the hundreds of thousands home in time for Christmas is just unsettling. Next thing you know, those crazy Arabs will be fighting again. Thanks, Obama. Ending two wars and finishing our part in Libya just created job loss amongst our soldiers. Unemployment is now your fault.

It's Obama's Fault That Christmas Will Be Expensive This Year

 

Barack-humbug! That's what I say. Thanks to President Obama, we're going to face another tax that comes just in time for the holidays. Apparentley someone in the Department of Agriculture decided that we could raise additional government revneue by hiking up Christmas tree prices this year. Can you believe that? One of the 100,000 employees who come under supervision of an appointed official by Obama approved this!  And who cares that the National Christmas Tree Association wanted this additional fee and it was only going to the producers and not the consumers. Who cares that the association asked for the fee after 90 percent of their members approved of it. We know the puppetmaster behind those strings: the Christmas-hating, not-that-Christian Obama.

 

We're in a recession and my money is tapped. We know that the Christmas tree tax was going to get passed onto us. And I'm not willing to pay for it. I'm already spending lots of money on presents for my wife, my kids, my in-laws, my grandma, my parents, my siblings, and some people in the company. I already drink enough Satrbucks every night to stay wide awake so I can buy these gifts. I'm already shelling out money for extra Christmas lights because I gotta beat Smitty from across the street for the HOA's "best decorated house" competition this year. He's going to see so many lights that he'll think we're having a bonfire every night for the next month.

Can I really afford a 15 cent hike?

 

Cain's Collapse Is Obama's Fault

It's fitting that today is the third anniversary of when our country started going down the drain faster than Kim Kardashian could send out wedding thank-you cards. Yes, President Obama was elected thanks to a bunch of upstart internet tweeters and Facebookers driving youth to the polls. Don't you know that kids don't listen to their parents these days? They are too busy dating online and at protests.
And since kids these days want to blame everyone for their demise I decided to set up this blog. I'm sure they Google the word "Blame" in their sleep when they think about why our country sucks now. Well, blame Obama! And every week I'm going to show you why something that happened is his fault.

Like the demise of this Herman Cain fellow. He had a perfectly good plan: sell enough pizza to lower everyone's tax burden. 9 pies, 9 toppings, 9 bucks each. No matter how much money you had, that's what you were going to pay.  That's a fair deal, right?
Until someone let out a little secret: Herman Cain is much like other politicians, despite his claim to be an outsider. You see, apparently Herman Cain like to put his eye on other pies. Young, fresh pies. His organization paid a lot of dough to make those pies go away and they did.
But what's wrong with that? Who cares if Cain supposedly wanted to date young women from the National Restaurant Association? What's wrong with a date or two...or three... Hell, Slick Willy did much worse, and he was in office!

To me that says Cain is perfect for the job. Someone was up to no good here.
First, Cain thought that "someone" was from Rick Perry's camp. But he had no smoking gun...only a smoking campaign manager. Then he thought maybe it was the liberal media, which we know is too stupid to break a story like that. Then he blamed racism, which is a crock because Cain is the best Negro African American we have out there. Just ask that hottie Ann Coulter!
And how could it be racism if Obama did it? Yeah, I said it. Obama spilled the beans.  It's really about legacy, people. We know Obama is a 1-termer. Apparently there can only be one person of...of Obama's stature in the oval office. If by chance he were to be defeated by someone with the likes of Cain, that would ruin his legacy as the only black president (besides slick Willy).
So if you were planning to vote for Cain in 2012, you may not get the chance. Thanks to Obama. Alan Keyes or Colin Powell better not have any ideas.